Friday, March 15, 2013

Friendship, Communication and Inclusion in being a Friend of someone with Autism.

One I must say Friendship is an Important part of being human Especially when you live with Autism and have had a life were you have wanted Friendship but had a hard time in the past making and keeping friends and knowing how to make new Friends. 

 I love the friends I have and am grateful for each and everyone of you but this note comes out of the fact that many people on the Spectrum needs to be able to have Stable ability to be involved in the community and be able to do things with Friend and communicate with Friends

  First off most people I know on the Spectrum have been Excluded and bullied for being different  to me people being Excluded from events and things cause they have Autism is wrong, Especially when the Exclusion isn't by Accident but a planned out decision done on the basis that the person with Autism might not be able to do something or may not be interested in something.  I know Exclusion happens because of forgetfulness sometimes and sometimes because of miscalculation but a lot of the time  Exclusion happens because people don't get to know the person with Autism and think they will not want to do something or can do something and those are two wrong assumption to make when dealing with a Person living with Autism (ASD) please talk to us before you assume we are not Interested in doing something or that we can't do something  Cause as you know there have been a lot people who said  I couldn't do things only to be proven wrong over time. 

Secondarily, communication is Important in any Friendship with anyone but more so when dealing  with someone with ASD cause they need to be keep in the loop when events or things are coming up that you might want them involved with, the communication needs to be very Specific so that the person can Figure out what is going on, Make plans to figure out how they are getting too and From a Event and what is expected of them at said event and what they need to bring or what  part they are expected to play at that event.  

One of the things I have found is that people with Autism want to be involved with Friends and be at events with  but often don't tell there Friends or Family so because they don't drive, Don't have Real good Transportation options or think they will be burden of Friends, Now no one wants to be a Burden on there Friends but you won't know that tell you ask if you are being one.

Number one I know if your a Friend of someone with Autism you should help them find ways to get them to hang out sessions   and events and activities if they don't drive and have a hard time getting to events, Carpooling when buses don't run or if there is no bus system is one way of  being able  to help a person with ASD to be inovled.  

 Second that is Important tell a person with Autism well in Advance when things are coming up if it is possible so that they can plan there schedule  so they can be involved in the event and tell them when and where the thing is and tell them what is coming up so they can think about weather or not they want  to be involved with an Event. 

Third off even when an event isn't planned in advance but it is a spur of the moment thing see if you can find a way to Involve the person with ASD, Give them a call figure out if they have a way or you can make a way to get them to the event so they don't feel like they are being left out. 

 Always be willing to tell a Person with ASD that you enjoy being around them and that you want them to be around to enjoy times with you and have fun with you, don't ever Assume that someone with ASD Knows you like having them around cause non Verbal Ques that others might get that would tell them this many people I know who live on the Spectrum would not get, at all even I  have to at times Guess how someone feels around me even when I might have a Suspicion  that they are enjoying there time with me because I can't read Body language as well as others can.

Fourth if you the person with ASD please Tell you people you with how much they mean to you or show it, I know that words and Actions count for a lot  for those of us on the Autism Spectrum but just as we might need to be told how much we enjoy being around them.    I have found that many people we deal with who are our Friends would like it if we communicated more not less with them about how we feel and what our dreams and goals are and yes even communicate when we are frustrated and Confused cause they want to help us to be the best people we can be.  

 Fifth if you make a Friend who has Autism and they like you, you most likey will have the Friend for a long time because I have found that People with Autism are very loyal friends and are willing to go the Extra mile to help there friends out when they need it and willing to do what is needed to help there friends  be the best people they can be but none of this is possible without having a chance to build Friendships and take chances and live life. 

No comments:

Post a Comment